A profound sense of loss is felt at the death of a loved one, whether that death is sudden or expected. There is no set pattern to grief. Some people grieve for a short time while others may never fully recover from their loss. Some won't experience their grief until some time later. There is no one right way to grieve.  As each of us is unique, so too is our grief. 

It is during these times that the support of friends and family is so important. Having a visitation, funeral, or memorial service is an important part of the grieving process and brings people together who can give you a support network. If that is not enough, your local community, religious organizations, and many healthcare organizations offer grief counseling or grief support groups. 

Although it may be difficult to reach out to these groups at first, many have found grief support groups to be a place where one can continue to grieve openly with others who share their pain.

Children, like adults, experience grief in many different ways, and each has his or her own pace of recovery. There are things that you can do to help a child through the grief process, which is important to do, as children often don't understand their feelings, and may need your help, guidance, and support to cope.

The most important thing you can do is talk with your child, and encourage him or her to ask questions. Answer their questions as simply and accurately as you can. 

Talk with the child about your feelings, and encourage the child to express his or her feelings. Listen to what the child says and how (s)he says it. Is the child expressing anxiety, fear, or insecurity? 

Reassure the child, letting him or her know that you're going to help him or her through this, and that you're in it together. You may need to repeat these reassurances several times, and you may also need to answer questions more than once.

If you're concerned that the child is taking a long time to heal, or isn't getting his or her emotions worked through even with your help and support, you may want to consider finding a counselor for the child. Grief counselors and other mental health professionals are trained in helping both children and adults through stressful times and working through their grief. 

While there are many things you can do to help people through the pain of their grief, there are also things that don't help at all--and that could even be hurtful. Here are some thoughts on things it's best not to do.

• Don't try to "fix" things, or make it all better for the person suffering the loss--no one can ever do that.
• Don't use clichés, or tell people that time heals all wounds. The wound of loss will never really heal, but they will learn to live with the loss over time.
• Don't compare one griever's loss or experience of grief to another's. Comparisons seem to minimize the loss or to force grievers to behave the "right way" instead of the way they are reacting--and this can retard the healing process.
• Don't encourage grieving people to make major changes, such as moving, changing jobs, etc. Extreme grief clouds judgment, and the people may later regret their decision.
• Don't attempt to cheer them up--just be there for them, and be as supportive as you can.
• Don't scold, give advice, lecture, etc. Let the grief run its course--and remember that everyone heals at a different pace.
• Don't suggest the person can replace the one they've lost ("You can have another baby," or "you'll find someone else"). This can be alienating and excruciating for grieving people to hear--it seems to minimize their loss, even though that's not your intent.